


Memory of her Turtles x Reader (2012)

by Dark_Blossom95



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Reflection, Sad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-01
Updated: 2015-03-22
Packaged: 2018-03-15 19:15:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3458726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dark_Blossom95/pseuds/Dark_Blossom95
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Takes place after another story I had written called Breaking the limit. After the events that transpired Leo and the others are struggling with the reality of it all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don’t own the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. 

 

Author’s note: So I know I hadn't been very clear about this but, I will say it now. Guys I don’t write specifics. Please if you request, keep it vague. I want this to be an insert everyone can read, so I will not do Ocs. I really appreciate the requests but don’t write me a paragraph of details you want, as a writer I need my freedom to create so I will decline requests with specifics and I REALLY loathe having to turn a request down. It makes me feel like I am letting you down by doing so… Anyway thanks guys for reading and I am sorry about not making this clearer before.

 

Also guys this is connected to the Breaking the limit chapters. 

 

Turtles x Reader (2012)

 

The darkness...it swallowed all the light, the sound.... and heat. The only thing reminder of existence is the cold hard ground, the sound of scraping filled the void along with rasped breathing. "...Failed." A soft whimper spoke. A dark silhouetted figure shuffled into a sitting position, tangled tresses dangle as it leaned forward. "...Where are you guys?" She cried. Blood caked her lips, sobs broke free as she cursed. "Why won't you come?" She howled in anguish. "...Please! Help me!" She screamed. He reached out, but his movements were to slow. She collapsed into his arms, bloodied, her pleading eyes lifelessly stared up at him. "...Why?" Her screams echoed through the dark. 

 

Waking with a start Leo sat up to find everyone else still asleep. It was the wee hours and silent... aside from the sound snores. Letting out a sigh he rubbed his temples, glancing to the corner of the room a pang struck his chest. A rolled up bed sat unused along with an untouched satchel. Leo frowned thinking of what had transpired since their return, the denial that his youngest brother had fallen into. For a while he'd lay out the bed and roll it up in the morning, he'd even set out an extra plate during meals. They'd all taken her death pretty hard but Mikey was naive and innocent. He didn't seem to understand or perhaps he just didn't want to, though none of them did. Holding a knee to his plastron he rested his chin on his arm. "I'm sorry..." Her words haunted him just like the nightmare plaguing his sleep. Master Splinter had taken it upon himself to take care of her... he'd left carrying her limp, cold, pale form. Returning alone hours later, mourning all had stayed silent except for the sobs April could no longer hold back. Hours passed in a flash as he sat there silently staring into the void. Had she cried for them? They failed her, she died and they couldn't do anything. Everyone had began putting away their beds, preparing for another gloomy day in mutated New York. Suddenly there was a thud making everyone look over to find Casey had knocked over (Y/n's) satchel, a small leather bound book fell open by his feet. Silently he bent to pick it up, his eyes widened as they trailed over it's contents. "Dude! That's private, (Y/n) is gonna kill you when she gets back!" Mikey shouted trying to get the journal from him. After some struggling Casey managed to tear himself from Mikey's grasp and snapped. "Don't you get it? (Y/n) isn't going to come back!" He shouted breathing hard. Mikey's eyes widened then narrowed as he shook his head, "No! You're lying!(Y/n) will come back!" An uncharacteristic look overtook his face, an out of place anger flared in his normally bright baby blues. "Tell him guys! She'll be back, right?" Mikey asked glaring at him.

 

The brothers remain silent, they hated to see Mikey like this but they couldn't bring themselves to tell him otherwise. "You'll see." He growled turning to go and sit down. "Maybe it'd be best if you just put that away," April reasoned. "Yeah sure, if you don't want to know..." Casey started, lifting the book up. "If she wanted us to know she would have told us," Leo cut him off, a stern expression plastered to his face. "Not if it would make you feel guilty. Not if it meant telling you her feelings and fears." Casey argued. All their eyes widened, they had gone so long with out answers and now here it was... "But it's just so disrespectful..." April muttered. "Enough Jones. We aren't going to go through (Y/n's) things and that is final." Leo narrowed his eyes. With a sigh of defeat he turned away, "Fine." He fumbled with the bag for a moment as he picked it up and placed it out of the way so it'd not be spilled over again. The day had trudged by slowly most of which had been spent in silence, Donnie had been pent up in his makeshift lab trying to keep himself busy and mind occupied, Mikey had pulled ice cream kitty from the freezer and sat at a booth petting her, Raph and April tried to occupy themselves which had been proving difficult. Casey was what everyone assumed was cooling off in one of the dim corners and Leo sat in silence occasionally glancing over to the table holding what was left of you. His mind had been reeling since he'd woken and try as he might to keep them at bay thoughts, images and memories of you filled his mind. Resting his head in his hand he took a deep breath, leery of closing his eyes for even a second but he was exhausted and his eyes were becoming heavy. Rapping his fingers over the table he'd been leaning on in an attempt to keep himself busy and awake, he'd seemed to draw the attention of his father. Splinter watched his son struggle to keep himself awake, he knew what was troubling him yet there was nothing he could truly say, it'd be wrong for him to deny them the ability to grieve. He'd long hoped his sons wouldn't have to face such a loss as he had but the world had decided to teach him that he can not shelter them forever.

 

That night feels like it had been so long ago, it started like any other. He and his brothers were on patrol when suddenly Leo stopped gaping at the amount of Foot soldiers laying unconscious on the rooftop. "Whoa, what the heck happened here?" Mikey asked looking over his brothers' shoulders. "Looks like someone trashed the foot." Raph answered folding his arms across his plastron in annoyance. "But who would do that?" Donnie questioned. "I don't know, but who ever it was obviously isn't a friend of the foot and could be dangerous. We'll have to extra cautious and aware of our surroundings." Leo said glancing over his shoulder to his brothers. Over the course of the next week the guys had found groups of foot soldiers beaten to a pulp. "Great. Just great another group of foot that we didn't get the pleasure of smacking the crud out of," Raph growled as they stumbled upon yet another unconscious squad of ninja. "I don't see what the big deal is, I mean they ARE taking down the foot. Not attacking regular people so what's the problem?" Mikey asked as he sat down. "The problem Mikey is that we don't know just what we are dealing with and if they are friendly. It could be the Kraang or even another mutant." Donnie explained annoyed. Mikey's eyes widened at the brown glare inches from his face holding up his hands he simply offered an, "Okay sorry I asked." "Wait. Sh! Do you hear that?" Leo asked holding his hand up to silence his team. Glancing over to the dark alley across the street they could hear it, the familiar sound of someone getting pummeled. Quickly making their way over and staying out of sight their collective stare widened in shock. Foot soldiers were getting it handed to them by a single shrouded individual, they were quick and relentless. As the last fell to their feet they turned around, a navy blue hood cast a shadow over their facial features, they appeared slender (A/n: Sorry but this is how I imagined the reader as a ninja)and they seemed to have noticed their presence. The figure had gone to throw a shuriken but it was knocked from their grasp by one of their throwing stars. The boys tried to keep to the shadows but an encounter was obviously going to be inevitable. The scuffle as it were began with projectiles in which is what ended it. Catching a throwing star and examining it the figure spoke, "Watashi wa anata ni hakken shita." The brothers' brows furrowed but their weapons were still drawn. "Nihongo wo hanashimasu ka?" The ninja asked. It's voice was distinctly female yet in the dark it was hard to be certain. "You are the Hamato ninja, yes?" You asked approaching them. "I have been looking for you. My name is (Last name), (Y/n) (L/n). I am humbled to finally meet you," you smiled bowing. The four brothers' eyes were wide with confusion as they stood dumbfounded. 

 

With a deep breath he silently approached him, "My son." Leo's eyes shot open as he looked up to meet his father's eyes. Splinter's brown orbs traveled over the eldest terrapin's features mulling over what he wanted to say, trying to find the right thing to say. "Yes Sensei?" He asked. With a sigh Splinter spoke softly, "You look unwell, seeming to be exhausted. Have you not been sleeping well?" The question struck him as a bit odd but he silently answered shaking his head. Splinter stroked his beard thoughtfully before asking what he'd already known the answer to, "And what is troubling you my son?" Leo was dumbfounded, the answer was so obvious yet his father felt the need to ask. Leo turned away, staring straight off as he took a deep breath. He knew that Splinter wouldn't ask if he hadn't felt the need to do so. Releasing a breath he'd not even known he was holding he semi answered the question, directing away from anything that may cause an argument. "...I'm having nightmares, Sensei. It has been plaguing me since... what happened. I keep seeing (Y/n) in a cold dark cell in the Shredder's dungeon. She is kneeling on the floor crying, asking why we weren't coming for and for help. Then she collapses dead in my arms and her screams fill my mind... I've been forced to see this over and over every time I fall asleep." Leo's voice cracked with hurt as he closed his fist over the smooth surface of the table. Splinter's gaze fell and he closed his eyes nodding, content that his son had not misinterpreted his question. "I see. And these nightmares plague you because you feel at fault?" Splinter asked looking down to his son's solemn expression. Taking a deep breath Leo replied, "... I know it isn't my fault and she wouldn't want me to be like this. It's just... there was nothing we could do. She had done everything she could to help us... she chose us over her own well being and we couldn't do anything to help her. I constantly ask myself what had been going through her mind in that dark cell. Wondering if she had cried for us... if she ever wished that we would come to help. She told me she didn't want us to... but... It's just so hard." He shut his eyes fighting back the tears forming and threatening to fall. "You're right. She wouldn't want you to be like this. She'd lecture you about neglecting yourself. She'd force you to try to sleep... and she wouldn't want you to grieve. She hated seeing you guys upset or hurt. She'd fly into a frenzy if she could hear you blaming yourselves for what has happened. I can not tell you not to grieve, you have every right to. But don't let that grief and guilt sully her memory. Cherish the fact that she'd been apart of your life... honor her with keeping this family together, like she wanted." Splinter gave a small sad smile as he placed a hand over Leo's shoulder. Leo nodded and attempted a small smile.

 

"So you'd been looking for a Hamato ninja?" Splinter asked stroking his beard. "Hai. Watashi wa gun ni sanka shitai." You answered. "Is that so? And just how did you come to know of us?" He asked eyeing you. Silently you reached into your satchel putting the brothers on edge as they watched you pull out a folded piece of paper. Slowly you unfolded it and handed it to the Master Ninja. "My Sensei had recognized the symbol when it had been televised. It made international news." You offered as he looked over the photo of one of his son's throwing stars. "Wakata. Anata wa Nihon no neitibudesu?" He asked lowering the paper to look at you. Shaking your head you answered, "Iie. My parents had fled when Oroku Saki..." The pain in your eyes had finished your sentence and Splinter told you that you didn't need to continue. He contemplated the idea of you staying with and joining them. "Perhaps you might take off of your hood?" He asked and you nodded. Lifting your hands to your hood you slowly pulled it down revealing your (h/c)hair (short, tied or braided), then your (e/c) eyes closed as your finger traced the bridge of your nose sliding under your mask and pulling it down around your neck. "You are human, are you not afraid of us? Does our appearance not disturb you?" He inquired. You swallowed before answering, "True that your appearance is in fact surprising, not at all what I had envisioned. Yet I came here to join forces to fight against the Foot, no matter what you are. Though that shouldn't matter, it is about who you are." Your words resonated with all of them. "If you'd please, I'd like to have a private discussion with my sons." Splinter said and you nodded taking the hint. You made your way out of the dojo deciding to wait in the kitchen, not entirely sure if he was asking you to leave completely or not. Their home wasn't exactly what you'd expected either but it was warm and comforting. You'd stood there silently contemplating what it was they were talking about in there.You were pulled from your thoughts when a large three fingered hand grabbed your shoulder. Surprised you quickly turned around to find the blue banded turtle staring at you. "Master Splinter wants you to return to the dojo with me," he said releasing your shoulder and began walking back. Nodding you followed him. Standing before the family beneath the tree you felt yourself growing nervous. "We have decided that you may stay. But living here means you will follow our rules, do you understand?" He asked with a stern tone. You nodded, "Hai. Thank you very much." "Leonardo will show you where you will be staying," Splinter informed you. "Leonardo?" You asked. "Oh right. We haven't exactly introduced ourselves," Donnie realized rubbing the back of his neck. "I'm Leonardo," the blue banded turtle said stepping forward. "And these are my brothers Donatello, Raphael and Michelangelo." He added motioning to each of them. "It's a pleasure to meet you all," you smiled tilting your head slightly with a wide closed eye smile.

 

Leo smirked at the memory of your first meeting. The decision of letting you stay was one he hoped they'd never regret... Splinter was right. This grief is messing with his head and heart. The thought though of that bright wide smile you had that night that he'd never get to see again was heavy and hurtful. Sighing he looked down to his hand, it once held yours not so long ago but now it was empty and longing for your touch. Shaking his head he clung to the memories he'd gotten to make with you, looking over to his family. It had always been apart of his resolve but he'd carry yours with him, he swore that on his honor. 

 

Thanks for reading and please do leave a comment! Hope you enjoyed my reader insert and let me know what you think! ^-^


	2. Hello, Goodbye.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Memory of settling into the Hamato household and... the night you'd left.

Disclaimer: I don’t own the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. 

 

 

 

Turtles x Reader (2012)

 

 

"It's not much and kinda small but..." Leo started as he opened the heavy door revealing the small dark and barren concrete room. "...Well this is where you'll be staying," He added. Bowing you thanked him, "Arigato, Hamato sama." A slight blush crept upon his cheeks at the formality. "Uhm well then, I guess I'll let you get settled in." He gave a meek and nervous smile while he rubbed the back of his neck. You simply smiled in response. Retreating to the common room Leo was a bit surprised at the gathering of his brothers. "Can you believe it? A real kunoichi on our side," Donnie chirped. "Do you think she likes pizza and video games?" Mikey questioned excitedly. Raph rolled his eyes slightly smirking as his arms folded across his plastron. "So where is she?" Raph asked as Leo approached. "Settling in. I feel a little bad that the room is so bare and is more imprisoning than welcoming," he answered. "I'm sure in time our guest will liven it up and make it more homey." Splinter offered a smile as he passed by. They all smiled and nodded. A few hours passed before they all headed to bed. Before entering his room Raph looked over the to the one you were staying in, you hadn't come out since Leo had shown and left you to settle in to your room. A million questions had been running through his mind but he decided they'd have to wait until you all woke up. He hadn't really realized just how tired he was until his head hit his pillow, taking and releasing a deep breath as he drifted off to sleep. 

 

Green eyes slowly fluttering open as the delicious smell wafting in the air tickled his nose. Rising up and rubbing the sleep from his eyes he nearly jumped out of bed. Opening his door to find his brothers' sleepy and confused expressions as they to exited their rooms. "What is that smell?" Donnie questioned wiping the remnants of drool from his mouth with the back of his hand. "Smells like breakfast," Leo yawned. Making their way over to the kitchen their eyes widened at what they saw. "Ah, you're all finally awake." You smiled drying your hands with a small dish towel. "What is all this?" Raph asked eyeing the food laid out on the island. "Breakfast, hope you're hungry." You answered. There were six bowls of white rice, a plate that housed sausage, bacon, little smokies, another with some over easy eggs, a bit of scrambled, a stack of toast and a bottle of soy sauce. The boys drooled as they ogled the food, you smiled at their expressions. "Itakimasu," you chirped turning to find Splinter entering the room. It has been a long while since he'd seen a meal such as this, he gladly grabbed a bowl of rice and a pair of chop sticks. The others followed your and Splinter's example watching as you held your bowl of rice, picking what you desired off of the other plates. Finishing you washed your own dishes and waited in the common room. Splinter had informed you that training will be in a couple of hours. It was rather quiet while the boys cleaned up but that hadn't really bothered you any. Sitting on the bench you brushed your hair contemplating the way you'd keep it out of your face during training. Whatever you chose you turned to find the guys joining you. 

 

You sat in silence for a little while before Michelangelo pointed at you, "I have a very important question! Do you like pizza and video games?" Your eyes widened at the serious tone he'd used to ask such a ridiculous question. You shrugged, "I've never had either so.." At this he gasped and his face turned to an expression that seemed you just told him that you were an under privileged orphan. "Don't worry... we'll have some later." He said wrapping you in a circulation cutting hug. "O-okay..." You forced out trying to be polite and not push him away. "Mikey you're hugging her to tightly." Raph growled trying to pull the youngest off of you. "Raph that's not helping!" Donnie exclaimed watching your confused expression as Raph peeled Mikey off of you. "It's fine." You smile. You'd spent a little while getting to know them while you waited to begin training. Splinter was a bit surprised at your skill in combat and he was even amused at your enthusiasm to learn new things. Stretching as you exited the dojo you tried to hold back a yawn. "(Y/n) you wanna play some video games?" Mikey asked with large hopeful eyes. Smiling you suggested, "Perhaps in a bit. I'd really like to bathe and change if that's alright." "Oh okay." He smiled skipping over to the "couch". You'd gone to clean up and get comfortable. It had been a little over an hour before you returned to find Leo watching t.v, Raph beating the dummy, and Mikey reading a comic. "(Y/n)!" He exclaimed and his eyes brightened as you entered the room. Surprised by his joy of seeing you, you meekly smiled and held a hand up. Casually making your way over and taking a seat on the bench you tilted your head in slight confusion at what they were watching. "Sorry we can't play video games right now, Leo's show is on." Mikey whispered toward you from the bean bag. "That's fine. I'd gone my whole life with out em I won't die if I don't play any." You smiled and his jaw fell into his lap. You giggled at his reaction, holding a hand over your mouth in an attempt to stifle your laughter. 

 

"I don't get it. So this is how you spend your time?" You asked setting the controller down beside you. "Uh well not just this, I skate board, cook, and... uhm other stuff." Mikey answered poking his his fingers together. You nodded, "Sounds fun." He smiled then inquired, "What about you? What do you do in your spare time?" Your eyes widened at his inquiry, you hadn't exactly grown up in a warm house hold. Not that your sensei was cruel but he was fairly cold, raising you as a warrior rather than like family. Biting down on to your lip you shrugged, "Well I uh... I used to help my Sensei with his bonsai trees, I trained a lot, I write calligraphy, my Sensei also had me learn to dance he said it'd help improve my muscle control and I cook." "Wow sounds like you didn't have a very fun childhood." Mikey blurted out. Leo and Raph were mortified at their brother's bluntness but you waved it off. "Everything he did was for my own good, it may not have been fun but in the long run has prepared me for the life I have chosen." You smiled as your gaze fell to the ground. You had lived a rather solitary life with your Sensei, he'd abandoned the life he could of had to protect and prepare you. "Uhm.. (Y/n) I hope what I said hadn't offended or hurt your feelings." Mikey apologized with an odd expression your brow furrowed until you noticed Splinter holding a claw to him. "Huh? Oh no you didn't." You reassured him. Splinter released Mikey who sighed in relief. "Perhaps you might think of what you will say before you put your foot in your mouth, hm?" Splinter asked returning to the dojo. Mikey gave an annoyed face as he turned back to you. Failing to stifle your laughter you apologized, "S-sorry." Your laughter made him smile it was uplifting to hear and contagious. 

 

Mikey sat in the booth petting Ice cream kitty, who purred beneath his large fingers. He smiled weakly at his cold, stick, sweet friend. "I miss her too..." He muttered with a sigh. He was still so angry that Casey had suggested that they read her journal. He knew she wouldn't like him being angry but he couldn't help it, how could Casey say those things. Sure she was hurt but that's why Splinter took her away, so she can get better right? Mikey's brow furrowed as he fell into deep thought. "Is he going to be okay?" April whispered to Raph. "I don't know." Raph replied closing his eyes. "I'm worried about him, I know it's hard but... he needs to know the truth. He needs to understand that she isn't coming back," April mumbled holding onto her knees. "I know..." Raph breathed. It was killing him to see Mikey falling apart like this, he'd woken up several times to the youngest muttering to himself in the corner. Convinced he was talking to (Y/n), but whenever someone would approach he'd lower his voice until he was just sitting there staring off into the darkness. He was losing it and there wasn't much the others could do, when they tried to console him he'd get defensive and tell them he is fine that he is just waiting for her to come back. "Everything will be all better when she gets back, we'll all be a happy family again." Mikey had been sputtering this sort of nonsense since that night. That night was pretty bad and none of them were quite sure if he'd worsened or not. Raph tried his hardest not to think of how his brother fell apart that night, it was probably more difficult to watch then the pain of hearing her words echo in his mind. He tightly shut his eyes and bit his lip. Clenching his fist he tried to think of other things and force the lump rising in his throat away. Opening his green orbs and gazing to his little brother he hurt at the thought of the pain Mikey was harboring. He'd sat there in silence for a few hours which isn't like him at all... the only other time he'd been like this was when they fled New York city. 

 

Her hands had grown so cold and her already weak grip loosened. Their eyes widened as she slipped away, she had rest her head on Leo's shoulder... she looked so tired. A few minuets had passed as they still clung to her and it finally hit, the realization. "(Y/n)?... (Y/n)! Wake up! What's wrong? Why won't she wake up? D-Donnie we gotta help her! She's so cold! Guys!" Mikey's cries filled the room. He tried to pulled her from Leo, his baby blues wide with fear and hurt. Tears streamed down his face soaking his mask as Raph pulled him away from her. "No! Don't! (Y/n)! (Y/n)!" Mikey screamed as his brother pulled him into and embrace turning him from the sight. Raph closed his green eyes turning his head away from her limp frame. The hoarse sobs of his brother only worsening the pain in his chest as he struggled to keep him in his grasp. April had buried her face into her hands sobbing, her whole frame trembling from the force of her cries. Leo still clung to her lifeless form, burying his face into her neck and gripping a handful of her (h/c) hair. Donnie's lip quivered as he tried to console April, rubbing his hand up and down her back. Splinter solemnly closed his eyes and bowed his head. Their voices vanishing into thin air as they forever lost one of their closest friends... It took all of Leo's might to not tighten his grip when Splinter had pulled her from his embrace, his tear filled eyes watched as his hooded father carried her out of their temporary home. Then he found himself losing control, speaking his feelings with out even realizing it. "No... don't go." He muttered failing to stifle the rising sob. Don't cry... Please. Even as you were dying you smiled... that damn smile. Your eyes were darkening, your skin freezing, your pulse vanishing and your breath weakening yet... you smiled. Leo's head bowed as he sobbed, wrapping his arms around himself in a hug. "I don't want you to go..." He sobbed. Their world had been sent reeling that day...

 

Thanks for reading and please do leave a comment! Hope you enjoyed my reader insert and let me know what you think! ^-^


	3. Words of the past, her resolve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Casey goes through with reading the reader's journal, which gives him insight to things she felt and what had contributed to her staying behind while they fled.

Disclaimer: I don’t own the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. 

 

 

 

Turtles x Reader (2012)

 

 

A loud bang echoed through the dark, the cold metal caressing your dirt smudged cheek, sweat matted your hair and your eyes clamped shut, gritting your teeth as you tried to block out the pain. Your closed fist resting on the cool, heavy, metal door the other tightly gripping your side. Looking down you let out a hiss at the sizable gash in your right side, taking short breaths as you tended to yourself. The night had not been so pleasant, finishing your bandage you grabbed a fresh outfit and made your way to the bathroom. Stripping and turning on the water you shiver. Bowing your head as the warm liquid fought off the cold, dirt and blood mixing, running down your skin. "What am I going to do?" You asked no one in particular as you lifted your head, running your hands through your soaking, filthy tresses and closing your eyes. Doing your best to tread lightly around your bandages as you cleansed yourself. Sighing as your hands ran over them, you'd known they would need to be changed by the time you finished showering. Shutting off the water you quickly wrapped your towel around yourself. Dabbing yourself dry and pulling on your undergarments, you changed your bandages making sure to keep constant pressure on the profusely bleeding wound. After dressing you sat there a while, listening, for what you had no idea. Taking a deep breath your brow furrowed, the silence was deafening, not like you were expecting to find the lair any different. 

 

It was maddening, the curiosity, swallowing hard he'd fought the urge. Brown eyes closing to fight the burn of the sight of that leather bound book. His mouth had suddenly became dry, licking his lips his slender digits had grazed the spine of the last way your silent words could be heard, a knot formed in his stomach twisting at the internal struggle he was facing. Everyone had gone to bed at least an hour ago, he'd lied saying how he felt pretty ill and he was going to sit up for a while in case he needed to rush to the bathroom and quote, "Give hail to the porcelain god." Everyone's brows quirked in confusion at the statement, to which he explained, "It's a way of saying to go puke." Nodding they had let him alone, all heading to roll out their beds and get some shut eye. He placed a hand to his forehead and sighed. The need for these answers were becoming to great, Casey couldn't fight it anymore silently he opened the journal, and the sweet scent of jade incense mixed with the smell of ink attacked his nostrils. Taking a deep breath his eyes fell onto the page, he muttered as he read. "I don't know what I am going to do anymore, so many new variables have been added and I am at a loss. Today while fighting alongside the turtles, I had come face to face with an obstacle that shook me to the core. I have begun to question my resolve and my ability to uphold the promise I had made upon my arrival..." He could hear your voice as if you were speaking in his mind as he read. So many questions had began to pour into his already confused mind. "Resolve?" He asked himself aloud in a hushed voice. Further more he was intrigued by this mention of a promise, what was going on that you weren't telling? Did the brothers know? Shaking his head he returned his gaze back to the journal, as his eyes traveled over your hand writing a vision of that day had began to shroud the present, like he'd been there. The visual was a bit blotchy since you weren't quite going into great detail, but he'd been able to find that the night was a clear, cold one and you'd been ambushed by the foot on a rooftop. The fight had left the boys with a number of injuries, but you all made it out okay. 

 

Silently you approached the brothers, after examining their wounds you looked out to where you'd last seen the foot. "Who was that?" You asked. "That was the Princess of the foot, Karai." Raph answered helping Mikey up. "Princess of the foot?" You questioned as your (e/c) orbs fell on him. "Yeah, she is the Shredder's daughter." He informed you as he wrapped Mikey's arm around his shoulders allowing him to lean on him for support. You eyes widened in disbelief. "D-daughter?" You asked aloud. "Yeah, it's not that hard to get." He rolled his eyes heading for the fire escape with Mikey. You were stunned by the events of the evening, your mind was sent spiraling and chest felt as though it'd explode. You had stood statue like as the shellraiser sped down the streets, you'd been silent the entire ride which was fairly normal especially in these circumstances but something felt off, you were floating in the distant space where no sound could reach you and parts of you twitched as if you were agitated. The air around you had become dense and your emotionless gaze made the boys fear it's contact as if whatever it fell on would instantly explode. You hung your head, clenching your fists you fought back the urge rising, an anger had began to boil within you. Why? You hadn't even understood it either but it was great, your eyes burned as your mind cursed. Taking a deep breath to calm yourself you were relieved that you were almost home, finally pulling into the lair you braced yourself. All of you trudged out of the car, the guys heading straight for the common room, save for Donnie who'd gone to retrieve his med kit. While the brothers tended their wounds you made a b-line for the dojo. Wasting no time, once you were inside and had shut the door before you began to fiercely train. Hours must have passed but you weren't letting up, your grunts filled the room as you tore through invisible enemies, using great force and practicing your forms. Sweat beaded your brow, dripping down your neck, your limbs ached from the ferocity of your training, your chest heaving up and down. "(Y/n), it is late. Should you not be resting?" Splinter asked entering. "Huh? Oh, I-I suppose." You answered meekly desperately avoiding his eyes. "What troubles you?" He asked placing a hand on your shoulder.

 

Taking a deep breath you shook your head, "Nothing Master." His eyes narrowed and his grip tightened. "If you do not air such grievance it will fester and consume you." He spoke sternly. Sighing you nodded, "Hai." Trying to find your words you breathed deeply,"I... am afraid." He remained silent waiting for you to continue. Hesitantly you added, "I'm afraid of becoming what I seek to end." He nodded understanding your vague words. "A very understandable fear, if your will and resolve are not pure or strong it is easy to become your own enemy. Life is an ever confusing winding road that is riddled with twist, turns, forks and it can be easy to lose one's way." He spoke releasing your shoulder. "It is my resolve that may make this fear a reality," you muttered. "And how so?" He questioned leaning to close for comfort, his brown orbs studying you. "I fear that by sticking to it... I'd become... just like the Shredder..." You answered as your gaze fell to the tatami. It had been a few minuets that you stood there quietly, awaiting an answer, a phrase of wisdom or something. Surprised by his silence you looked up to find his back turned toward you, stroking his beard in deep thought. He'd been the only one you told of your resolve and the truth of your past. The truth of it was you were an orphaned ninja, your clan had been killed off in fear of retaliation when Oroku Saki had aimed to take all of Japan, your parents barely escaping were hunted down just after you were born, leaving you to the care of your sensei and you'd come to New York to protect the surviving Hamato ninja. To keep Shredder from doing to New York what he'd done to Japan, and to prevent another suffering the same fate as you... "I see. So you have encountered Karai, I'm afraid since you know first hand... this is an internal struggle in which only you can resolve. Which ever you choose, I understand." He said without looking at you. You stood there feeling weighted down by the thoughts swarming your mind. "It is late, you should retire for the night." Splinter calmly commanded before retreating to his room. You'd exited the dojo almost running into a concerned Leonardo, avoiding his azure eyes you rushed through the common room to yours.

 

Leaning back against the metal door you ran your hands over your hood, pulling it and your mask off. Brushing your (h/c) hair you sighed, quickly dressing into your night wear you grabbed your journal and began to write. "Just what is the cost of my resolve? Is it worth it? I swore I'd not allow Shredder to tear apart another family. ...That I wouldn't allow another to befall the fate of my family. To be hunted down... I swore to protect the Hamato at any cost, that I'd stop the Shredder... no matter what. But... if I do, then what would become of Karai? I'll have done to her what has been... to me. And I'd deserve her hatred and to be struck down by her blade. Sensei... I don't know what to do... I fear that I regret my decision... on coming here. I love... this family but... I-I don't know..." Your words like the visual faded back to Casey reading under a dim lone lamp in a corner booth of the pizza parlor. Running a hand through his black hair he sat there speechless, the knot grew and twisted deep in his abdomen. Closing the book he held his head in his hands, everything sort of fell into place... er sorta. "Had you felt compelled to stay behind because you felt like a failure? Was it this resolve that kept you here... unable to leave all of it behind? Hating yourself for the damage that had been done? ...It wasn't your fault... nor your responsibility. Ninja babe..." Casey muttered tracing his fingers over the smooth leather surface. Learning the truth about Karai had been pretty hard, there was the struggle of getting her to see and accept the truth, then there was trying to get her back. April and Casey weren't there when all of that had unfurled, the tragedy that Shredder blames Splinter and the turtles for, much like Tang Shen's death. You never needed to choose... the decision had become moot when you'd learned the truth but in the end Shredder had won, yet again he tore a member away... If only Karai hadn't been so set on vengeance. 

 

Entering your dark room you knelt before the ornate box just beside the door, if one hadn't known about it they'd not notice it's existence. Opening the doors you lit some incense and pressed your palms together. Your (e/c) eyes slowly opening to behold the framed photo of your parents, a metal plate with your clan insignia carved into it and a small dish of offerings. "They'll be safe... They fled New York... Leo had been... hurt. I could have gone... I refused. How could I leave when so many were being left behind? Both human and Mutant alike... Master Splinter... Karai... Leatherhead... Mr. Murakami... many others. They'll return... it's inevitable and when they do... I'll be waiting. Until then I will do what I must. First to find Karai and keep her from that bastard Shredder's grasp, hopefully I can appeal to her humanity. Then to regroup the others... Splinter, Leatherhead... hopefully Slash would listen to reason... he was Raph's pet though... "I won't fail. Shredder will pay." You snarled. 

 

Thanks for reading and please do leave a comment! Hope you enjoyed my reader insert and let me know what you think! ^-^


	4. The Scentless Devil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drugged. Shredder had drugged and lied to you. The world you'd been told to know had been destroyed and now begins the journey of piecing everything back together. Will things ever be restored or will the lies and life you've been lead to believe destroy everything you were and once stood for?

Disclaimer: I don’t own the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. 

 

Author’s note: So glad I waited, whew. ._. 

Thankfully not much had to be changed. Very crazy. Anyway hope you all enjoy this, and also there will be a drug mentioned called the Scentless Devil. This is not the real name of the drug, the effects mentioned are NOT real… well some of them. I do not condone drug use, especially the one that will be mentioned sometime in this story, not sure just when. Also spoiler alert! If you haven’t watched the new episode, The Pig and the Rhino and you don’t want spoilers do not read. Thank you. 

 

Turtles x Reader (2012)

 

 

What have you done? How could you have been so blind? "It was you." You muttered. Rahzar's ear twitched as his gaze flicked in your direction. Baby blues watched on in both fear and hope, you pointed your sword at the nightmare dog. Slowly stepping between he and orange banded turtle, taking a stance your upper lip curled in a snarl, "You lying bastard. It wasn't the turtles, it was you! When father hears of this..." You were cut off by his laugh and your eyes narrowed. "Do you hear yourself? Shredder would sooner throw you in the dungeon. He won't like the things your saying let alone defending one of the enemy." Bradford laughed. "Now be a good girl and move," he commanded but you stood your ground. "Enough of your lies!" You shouted. The orange banded turtle drew his nunchucks and you barked at him, "Stay out of it Turtle. This is between me and my attempted murderer." He tried to protest but you ignored him. Rage was coursing through your veins, you had a hard time controlling your muscles as they twitched and jumped in anticipation, gritting your teeth you rushed toward him. He dodged a few of your attacks but you kept on, every other strike hitting it's mark as your fury tore through your throat. Of course your strength wasn't going to last long, your arms had already began to tire out, your chest heaved as you glared daggers at the beast. "I don't now what your angle is... or why you hate the turtles but I will NOT be used for your means of war!" You shouted and he snarled as his gaze narrowed. "Master will not be pleased to hear such things. You will do as your told girl!" Bradford yelled as you tried to rush toward him but he knocked your sword from your grips with little effort. Your body had begun to lock up, you were straining just to stumble the way you were, sweat soaked your brow and a lump formed in your throat. Suddenly you were thrown back, hitting hard against a brick wall your eyes widened as the pain registered. "(Y/n)!" Mikey called rushing toward you but Rahzar had thrown him just as effortlessly. You grit your teeth and roared, "Leave him alone!" Holding your sword arm you stumbled forward, just enough of your fight returning to rush him again and kick his face. He let out a yelp as your foot made contact, the force making his head snap to the side, growling his hand shot up grabbing your ankle and he'd slammed you into the ground. "Get off her!" Mikey yelled but Rahzar had thrown you into him. "...(Y/n)! Are you okay?" He asked looking down to you. You laid across his plastron, struggling to force yourself up. "...G-go... run." You muttered forcing yourself to your feet. "I'm not leaving you!" He argued. "GO!" You bellowed turning to face Rahzar. 

 

Even though you had told him to run he insisted on staying, bad choice on his part, but Rahzar could careless about him anymore. He'd knocked the young turtle out but you managed to lead him away, hopefully the others will find and care for him soon. But fleeing was in vain, you were run down like the prey you'd become, and fighting was useless. He'd caught you, dragging you back to the lair to answer to your "father". "Master Shredder, she has become a problem. She had defended one of the turtles." Rahzar informed him as he forced you forward, tightly gripping your shoulder. "Father... he lied to you. The turtles hadn't harmed me, it was this coward!" You shouted ripping your shoulder from his grip. "Is that so? Her memories have returned?" Shredder asked without turning toward you. "It would seem they are." Rahzar answered to his Master's back. "Then it'd seem that there is only one last use for you, unless your loyalty still belongs to me." Shredder spoke finally turning around to face you. Rahzar grabbed your wrists and held them at your back, you struggled against him shouting, "Let me go!" Why? What are they talking about? Your mind was sent reeling with questions you somehow felt you already had the answers to. "Father... tell him to let me go." You pleaded. "Swear that your loyalty still belongs to me. That you will follow my orders no matter what. Nothing will get in the way of my vengeance! You will do everything in your power to assist in destroying my enemies." He demanded. "Why do you hate the turtles so? Because you believe the lies this cad had told you?" You questioned. "I have seen what they have done to Karai. My daughter... You'd allow them to live after what they have done?" He boomed. "K-Karai... Uhg! ...K-Karai!" You shouted as the memory of that night flashed through your mind. The turtles were there but... something was off, they weren't on the opposing side of you... the chain... You struggled screaming out at the memory forcing it's way to the surface. The cold glare of Shredder hardening as you tried to piece together the events that took place that night. "Why? Why are you being so cold and cruel? FATHER!" You shouted continuing to fight and tears welled. Your eyes widened at the realization, your lip began to quiver and you'd hung your head at the ache piercing your chest as you muttered, "Y-you lied..." The room had remained silent. Rahzar's grip tightened on your wrists, keeping them held tightly against your back as you began to thrash about, roaring in anger as you continued to fight against him. "You lied!" You shouted desperately trying to break free. "You're a liar! How much of my life is a lie? Just how much of your bull shit had I actually believed?!" You screamed as the burning tears of anger streamed down your face. His glare hardened as the fire in your eyes burned his world, the hatred, there'd be no way of swaying you now. You gritted your teeth and shouted, "ANSWER ME YOU WRETCH!" At this his anger had boiled over and he'd silenced you with a relentless back hand, the metal of his gauntlet slicing your already bruising cheek. "Damn you! You think I'll simply be silent from just that? Look at..." You started but was cut off by another strike. Every gaze in the room was on the two of you, silently watching as you defied their Master, the hate only growing, your glare darkening but the fight burning bright once more. Your chest heaved up and down as you breathed pure rage. You'd be damned to be stuck here and take whatever he felt like giving you, let alone hear another one of his lies. Struggling to get your wrists free you continued to glare up into that masked face, his cold eyes staring down at you completely un-phased. "I have said it before and whether you are with me or not, those damned turtles have done a great deal of damage, they will pay dearly for it. With their lives." Shredder growled narrowing his eyes at you. Your eyes widened and something had lit the fuse, a roar tearing through your throat you broke free from Rahzar throwing him, sending him rolling over the dark, cold floor. "I don't care who they are, that I was lead to hate them for whatever damn reason you saw fit. I WON'T LET YOU!" You roared lunging at him.

 

~ With the Turtles ~

 

When would their streak of miserable luck end? The retro mutagen didn't work and if that wasn't enough Karai had given up, she just wanted to say goodbye. "Damn it!" Leo yelled hitting his hand against the wall. What are they going to do? They're falling apart at the seems and there doesn't seem like there is anything they can do about it. "There has to be a light at the end of the tunnel..." April had muttered this once or twice but these words had fallen on deaf ears. Everyone had been getting ready for bed... almost. Leo had begun to get suspicious of Casey's bizarre illness and his narrowed azure gaze watched the teen rebel sit at his usual booth. Laying back onto his futon, Leo slowly closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, relaxing enough to seem asleep but not enough to drift off just yet. Forcing away his other senses he focused all his attention on to the silence. The ticking of the wall clock was the only thing traveling through the darkness, though his carapace was toward it he could feel the light tingle of heat from the dim lamp over Casey's brooding booth. Ten minuets passed, then fifteen... thirty... the silent, oddly warm, dark seems to be really tempting now. "Eye lids.. too heavy to open..." He thought fighting to stay awake. "J-just a little... longer..." He told his own brain but he was losing. He stirred trying to rouse himself, no longer caring to be silent he let out a groan but it'd been muffled while he moved. Casey's brown hues glanced over a moment before returning to his secret, concluding that Leo had only been adjusting in his sleep. Suddenly he felt it... his tired struggles ceased as he felt a pair of arms wrap around him from behind. The cool, scentless breath tickling the back of his neck, he both wanted to open his eyes in hopes he'd find you there but also he didn't because he knew he'd be disappointed. He could no longer help but relax into your embrace, letting out a contented sigh, the fight in him fading away and the dark consuming him. Until that is he heard Casey coughing, he'd nearly forgotten why he was fighting to stay awake, trying to pry his eyes open his hand gripped onto the futon. "Leo..." You cooed. He groaned in response trying to force the dream away. "...Go to sleep. Rest." You softly breathed. One hand trailed over his arm and grabbed his large, green, three fingered one giving it a light squeeze. "Please." You pleaded and like that all his strength had vanished.

 

"I failed..." You thought standing in the rain with the rest of the Hamato. Things couldn't have gone any worse than tonight, Shredder... that bastard. Karai had gone after him on her own, he had captured her and while you and the others had attempted to rescue her... She'd been mutated. A strike meant for Leo had gotten the chain she was suspended on... and she'd fallen into a vat of mutagen. Your chest ached not just for your resolve but your heart had really gone out to Splinter... He blamed himself for it. As does Shredder. The return home was a very quiet one. Everyone had retreated to their rooms once you returned. Hearing the click of the door you dropped to your hands and knees. Gritting your teeth you dug your nails into the concrete floor, tears of anger, anguish and hatred dripped from your nose to the ground. If only... No there was nothing that could have been done. Fate is a funny thing, a cruel humored and cold bitch whose favor or compassion comes at much to high a cost. Resting your forehead onto the cold hard surface, your breath pushing dust off and away from the ground, your body trembled as your silent sobs racked you. Her cry as she plummeted into that vat is one that'd haunt you... those eyes. 

 

~ Present ~

 

Sitting in your cell your mind had raced with questions, like "Did the others make it out? Is Master Splinter okay, what about Leather head or Slash? Was my sacrifice in vain, had Karai been run down?" Nightmares of these past events and things that might have happened was another factor keeping you awake. The memory of your time in that dark cell flashed before your (e/c) eyes, you gritted your teeth as you glared into the cold stare, struggling to take in air. Shredder had caught you by your throat in mid air, the force alone had pained your neck let alone the strong grip he hand over it, his thumb pressed tightly on your pulse point and he commanded Tiger claw to take you back to the dungeon. Your eyes widened at the thought of being dragged back to that cell, waiting to die, you quickly drew a special pellet, a metsubishi, and threw it directly into his eyes. He let out a pained cry, dropping you to cover his eyes, you didn't have much time to recover, quickly you knocked him off of his feet by landing a hard a kick into his now exposed chest. Tiger claw was quick to try and subdue you. But it was in vain, he'd drawn his gun, kicking his wrist you made him give you the perfect escape route, the large window behind Shredder's throne shattered and you ran as fast as you can throwing a handful of smoke bombs.

 

~ Back with the Turtles ~

 

Casey's eyes widened as they fell on the last page, scribbles of things that hadn't made sense to him filled the paper. Talk of some sort of powdery substance that only one person they knew might be able to identify, Donnie. His mouth dried at the thought of telling them he'd gone behind their backs and read (Y/n)'s diary, but the last excerpt could change everything. He didn't think twice about it, when everyone wakes he'll show them, at least Donnie. It was no secret that you were alive and for some reason on Shredder's side, that blow was much harder than you being dead. None of them could comprehend why you'd believe he was your ally... and when you referred to him as father Leo lost it. But you'd gotten in the way, they didn't want to hurt you. Though it hadn't stopped Raph and Leo when Mikey was in danger, it caused quite the stir up afterward. Casey couldn't sleep, he'd tossed and turned for hours, the thought of you had kept him up. The question lingering on everyone's mind, "What were they going to do?" Finally sleep managed to find him, but it hadn't lasted long. "Jones!" Mikey yelled kicking him the side. Letting out a grunt he shot up holding his side. "Mikey!" Raph shouted trying to calm down the youngest. "You... you were reading it!" Mikey yelled pointing to the leather bound book that had fallen out of his jacket. "Casey?" April asked picking it up. He shook his head cursing that his plan of getting them to understand and stay calm about had flown out of the window. "You'll thank me for it. Listen, we all have been scratching our heads wondering why she joined the Shredder. That book might have a clue." He explained pointing at it. "Oh really and what kind of clue? Was she secretly working for him the whole time?" Raph asked angrily. "She'd never!" Mikey defended and his baby blues burned with fury. "Guys! ... Jones, what kind of clue are we talking here? What did you find out?" Leo asked trying to keep the peace. Sighing he shrugged, "I-I don't know... I was going to show the last entry to Donnie. It talks about some weird powdery substance they made her take. She didn't think anything of it until... the mirror incident. She'd noticed an odd change in her behavior... that she was losing control of herself, at first she thought it was guilt or something then she remembered the powder." Donnie's chocolate orbs widened in fear, "Th-they drugged her." "That doesn't explain how she is alive. Why she claims to not remember us or why we're enemies. Why she thinks Shredder is her father." Raph chided. "Does it describe the powder, like in taste or smell?" Donnie asked turning toward Casey. "I-I don't remember... let me see." He said holding out his hand. April handed it back and they all watched as he turned to the page. "It says scentless and tasteless." He read looking up to Donnie's worried expression. "Oh no," He said shaking his head and rushing for the computer. Typing away furiously at the keys, Leo asked, "What? What is it?" "There is only one drug in existence that exhibits these symptoms... It simulates death, causes memory loss, and makes the victim open to suggestion, they'll believe anything they're told, follow any order with out question. It's scentless, tasteless, and doesn't have to be administered like any normal drug." Donnie explained pulling up the result. "The scentless devil? Is there an antidote or something?" Leo asked looking to his brother.

 

~ When you woke ~

 

Slowly your eyes fluttered open, the bitter taste of copper fills your mouth, your head is spinning and your body felt like it'd been hit by a train. The scent of incense tickled your nose, wincing in pain as you sat up a sigh of relief catching your attention. Quickly snapping your head in the direction of the sound your stare widened at the built shrouded figure. "Don't worry, you're safe now." A distinctly male voice purred. "Safe?" You asked quirking a brow. You seemed to be asking yourself more than the mysterious figure but, you couldn't remember, try as you might no recollection of what you were in danger from came to you. Hell you can't even remember your own name. Looking down to your healing body your stomach lurched at the sight. "What happened to me?" You questioned stifling a sob. "You were attacked, you nearly died." He answered. Tears welled and you stuttered asking, "What... but why?" You were sent spiraling, thousands of questions cluttered your mind yet you could only manage, "w-who?" The single word was for more than wondering who'd want you dead but who were these mysterious men, and more importantly who are you? "It was our enemy, the enemy of your father." One answered."My father?" You questioned holding your head in pain. "Yes and they took your sister, mutated her." the other added. With the more they told you the faster your head spun with confusion. "But they failed in their mission, you're safe and alive." You couldn't tell which of them was talking, the pain was so blinding you clamped your eyes shut in an attempt to force it away. Suddenly a door opened spilling light onto the two monsters watching over you. "Do not be afraid," the robotic fish cooed. "Welcome home... daughter." A third voice spoke from the doorway. "Master Shredder," the fish and black boney dog spoke in unison as they bowed. You looked up at the man questioningly, he appeared distant and cold. "Don't worry in time you may begin to remember. Those damned turtles have done a great deal of damage and they will pay dearly for it." He narrowed his eyes as he spoke. Tears streamed down your cheeks as you rushed toward him, wrapping your arms around him you cried, "Father..."

 

~ present ~ 

 

Holding your head you stumbled through the dark, empty subway tunnels. "Everything... was a lie..." You muttered falling to your knees. Taking a deep shaky breath you questioned, "Do they know?... That orange one... M-Mikey, he knew my name. They must... know something..." Pushing yourself to stand you held your bruised neck, concluding, "I must find... them."

 

 

Author’s note: So I know that the drug I referenced isn't real. The symptoms are made up… the whole thing is pretty much made up. Kinda like the poison in Romeo and Juliet or Hamlet. Anyway just want to reiterate that. Thanks so much for reading and please do let me know what you think.

 

Thanks for reading and please do leave a comment! Hope you enjoyed my reader insert and let me know what you think! ^-^


	5. Memory filled Lair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After escaping the Shredder the reader finds her memories forcing their way to the surface, whether they're wanted or not.

Disclaimer: I don’t own the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. 

 

 

 

Turtles x Reader (2012)

 

 

Leaning against the wall you struggled to take in air, you'd wandered the tunnels for what felt like hours and you really had no idea where you were going. The pain in your tired legs was nothing compared to the ache in your chest, holding a hand over what felt like a chasm in your breast, you didn't fight the tears that welled and began to stream down your dirt smudged face. Your every word has echoed through your mind since your escape, and each one hammers the guilt, shame and hurt that much deeper. "...M-Mikey..." You muttered closing your eyes. Those baby blues that held so much hurt and filled with a great amount of hope. Your hands had began to tremble as you stood in the cold, quiet, dark tunnel. Licking your dusty, dry lips you sighed. "...What exactly is my plan? I can't just go back to them, not after... Uhg! Why?" You shouted slamming your hand against the wall. That look... it still haunts you. The anger, disbelief and pain. All of them... those eyes were filled with relief and hope... but then you spoke. You attacked them, even if it felt wrong you followed the Shredder's orders... until Mikey, you had hesitated. His pleads had some how reached you, he didn't want to fight you and it was apparent. You held your head, crying out as the pain pierced your temples. "I don't wanna remember that! I was wrong... lied to... please." You begged the void. Clutching handfuls of your hair as your cries grew louder. "I'm sorry!" You screamed.

 

 

"(Y/n)! What are you doing dudette?" Mikey questioned full of shock. Your eyes narrowed when he said your name, he and his damn brothers tore apart your family, they tried to kill you yet here he stands confused as to why you'd be attacking him. Swinging your sword at him you shouted, "Shut up Turtle!" The pain that flashed through his wide baby blues struck your heart, you grunted and took a short breath from the ache. "Why? Why does it hurt?" You asked your own thoughts. Though you were wide open, holding a hand over your aching chest he still stood there wide eyed, fear and hurt was replaced with... guilt and worry? How dare he, feign concern for you when he was apart of causing it. Letting out a roar you ignored the pain and lunged at him, he dodged your attacks fairly easily. You were relentless but your body was already giving out, the pain spread from your chest and made you lock up, you could feel the lump in your throat as sobs fought to escape. Shaking your head you cursed, "Damn it!" He was confused as to your behavior, it was clear you couldn't make up your mind on whether or not to actually hurt him. This was made even clearer when you caught him off guard, you tackled and pinned him down. Straddling him, his arms were held beneath your legs, your head hung as you lifted your sword, his baby blues widened in fear as you brought it down and he let out a cry. "I-I c-can't..." You huffed. The tip of your sword was hovering just above his plastron, your eyes were closed and your lip quivered. "Why? Y-you took my sister away, t-tried to kill me... yet I can't bring myself..." You forced out trying to stifle your sobs. His eyes became the size of plates when a clear droplet fell upon his cheek, your shoulders had began to tremble and your grip on your blade tightened. With a shout you lifted it over and brought it down, stabbing it into the ground inches from his head. "(Y-Y/n)... it's me... your friend. We never tried to kill you." He spoke softly. Your (e/c) gaze fell onto his face, studying his features and he tried a soft smile.

 

 

"Try to remember... We used to train together and then we'd eat pizza, gummy worm, jalapeno, and anchovies. You never understood why I loved to play video games so much, but you'd play them with me anyway, a-and you'd lose but sometimes I'd let you win... Y-you were so close to my brother L-..." Mikey started. "Mikey!" Two voices called out and you were thrown from pinning him. "G-guys wait!" Mikey shouted getting up. "You stay away from my little brother!" Raph yelled charging toward you. "Stop!" Mikey shouted. Your stomach knotted and you blocked his sai with a tanto. Your eyes had once again hardened and you tuned out what ever was being said. Rolling over the ground you grabbed your sword, lifting it just in time to block Leo's katanas. Blocking another strike from Leo you kicked Raph back, a swing from a bo staff caught you off guard and there was already a welt forming across your cheek. Growling your attacks grew more fierce, throwing one turtle into another then blocking another strike from the hot head. But you were losing ground, he pushed you back and you lost your footing. His eyes were white in blind fury, he raised his weapon and you held your chin up with a hardened glare awaiting the strike. Suddenly a chain wrapped around his wrist and stopped him. Your eyes traveled over to the orange banded turtle shouting something at you, he was struggling to pull the chain tighter and it suddenly hit you. With a quick nod you threw a smoke pellet and vanished. He helped you even though you were just fighting his brothers. The idea was ludicrous and had boggled your mind. You couldn't stop thinking about what he'd said... "You were so close to my brother L-..." You shook your head. Drawing your sword you looked down to it, the blade glistening in the moonlight and you sighed at your reflection. Those eyes. "Try to remember... I'm your friend." You groaned and clutched the hilt tighter. "Gummy worm, jalapeno and anchovies... pizza." His words echoed through your cluttered mind and your stomach growled. "Th-that sounds so... disgusting," you coughed covering your mouth but your body said otherwise as your mouth drooled at the thought.

 

 

~ Time skip ~

 

 

Another fight with the turtles and allies. Somehow yet again you managed to find yourself alone with the orange clad turtle. You were going to strike, last time you'd been punished for your hesitation, he blocked with his nunchuck but that hope in his baby blues hadn't dwindled. You growled as you fought with him, though it was more of you striking and he just dodged your every move. "(Y/n)... don't you remember?" He asked. His eyes had pleaded for you to stop... he was desperate for you to listen but how could you? He was the enemy wasn't he? You had forced him back and swung, your sword stopped once again just above his plastron, your hand gripped his shoulder as you pushed his carapace against the wall. Your eyes widened as you looked into those fearful yet hope filled eyes, you were shocked by what had slipped from your lips, "M-Mikey?" His mouth fell agape as he nodded. Your hands were trembling as you lowered your blade asking, "Wh-what...?" Up until now you hadn't known their names, you'd only referred to them as Shredder did, but somehow you knew his name and it held meaning to you. Then his words from last time struck you, "...You're friend... you were so close to my brother L-..." "Leo..." You finished softly. His eyes lit up and he smiled. "Y-you do remember... It's in there somewhere." He cried out happily. "I was so scared... they all said you weren't coming back! I knew they were wrong! Come on! We can go be a family again!" He exclaimed as happy tears streamed down his freckled cheeks. You let out a cry as the memory forced it's way out... Being tied to that pole... the claw marks... "Don't act like the fact they didn't come for me hurts, I never wanted them to!" You shouted. "(Y/n)." Rahzar said jumping down from his perch. "What are you doing? Finish him!" He ordered and you grit your teeth. Your own cries sent shivers down your spine, the feel of you thrashing about on that pole and being freed... falling into the arms of... Mikey. He had handed you over to his brother Leo... they cared for you... It wasn't the turtles... they were devastated to find you like that... no it was... "It was you..." You muttered.

 

 

~ Present ~ 

 

 

The memory of your first encounter with them flashed before you.

 

 

"(Y/n)?" Mikey called out tears of joy brimming his baby blues. "Y-you're alive?" Donnie asked in disbelief. "B-but that's impossible..." Leo muttered in complete shock. "Surprised to see that your plan failed? Turtles." You growled narrowing your eyes at the group of terrapins. "Plan? What are you- ... hey!" Raph shouted as they all struck down your projectiles. "I won't go down so easily and you'll pay for what you've done!" You shouted locking swords with Leo. "(Y/n)... What is with you? What happened -" Raph started but was cut off by a kick from Fish face. The brothers were hurt and confused by your rage. You were on Shredder's side... even though you... died. You were killed by the Shredder's men and somehow you're here, alive, fighting for them... 

 

 

"No! Stop it!" You cried to no one. Suddenly you were thrust forward, you still didn't know where you were going but you didn't care anymore, your feet carried you through the tunnel, footsteps echoing off the miserably bare walls, your hair whipped about and your eyes stung from the tears you had shed. Losing your footing you'd fallen down, stretching out your arms to break your fall, you let out a pained hiss as your palms had been scraped up, your knee ached and your ankle was swelling. Great could you be any more cliche? You laid there a moment, taking in deep breaths as you tried to calm yourself you clenched your eyes shut, letting out a shaky breath you forced yourself up into a sitting position. Looking down to your bleeding dirty hands you sighed, "Pretty much how I feel... My hands are stained..." Looking up to study your surroundings your eyes widened, the place felt familiar but was anything than welcoming. Somehow you weren't surprised to find it in this sort of condition, forcing yourself to your feet you slowly trekked into abandoned home. Kraang bots were still strewn about the floor, parts of the ceiling had crumbled, the pinball machine and arcade games laid on their sides the cords splayed out as they were practically torn from where ever they drew power. Your heart wrenched at the sight... of what it must have felt like when all of this occurred. Sneaking around the Kraang's security hadn't proved to be very difficult, deciding you didn't want to have to tip toe around the place you drew your weapon, disposing of them took little effort and you actually felt some sort of satisfaction in it. Making your way into the dojo you felt a strange sense of peace as your gaze traveled up the tree growing inside, you stiffened at the feeling of something placing what felt like a hand on your shoulder, turning your jaw fell as the tall rat known as Splinter gazed down at you. "You did good today, I am glad my sons and I were right to trust you. My child, but be prepared this is truly only the beginning." He said giving your shoulder a squeeze and you couldn't stop yourself from nodding. "Hai, Master Splinter." You bowed. 

 

 

You wiped the tears forming away, a small smile broke across your lips at the memory, the ache lifting just a little and you looked around more. Walking into the kitchen you took a deep breath, strangely it still reeked of the odd pizzas the guys would order and you laughed at the way your stomach growled as your mouth drooled at the thought of the dinner you'd all have. Some of your favored memories took place in here making food for the guys, watching Mikey work on what would be his culinary blunders, important discussions of things going on in the city, and just sometimes just hanging around. Running your hands over the counter you let out a contented sigh, only fragments of your time down here in the sewer were coming through but it was a start and it was long over due. As your fingers trailed over the mostly smooth surface you memorized each nick, dip, dent, and scratch. A strange aroma had filled the air making your nose twitch, you breathed it in smiling as you allowed the memory to play out before you. "What is that?" You asked covering your nose as Mikey dropped the box on to the counter and let out a satisfied hum as his mouth closed over half the slice of pizza he held. "Pizza. Want some?" He asked and you quirked a brow. "What's on it?" You asked looking over the strange "pie". Swallowing what was left he counted off the ingredients, "Mozzarella cheese, pizza sauce, anchovies, jalapeno and gummy worms." Your eye twitched as you made a gagging sound, "That sound disgusting!" He let out a laugh and shrugged, "More for me." You watched as he began to devour the repulsive dish, but curiosity had really began to get the better of you and you held up your hand making him eye you with confusion. "I uh... was wondering, if I could try a slice." You said turning from him slightly embarrassed. He smirked and pushed the box toward you, "Knock yourself out." You eyed it for a moment, his baby blues watching with amusement and hope as you slowly brought it up to your lips. Swallowing hard you shrugged and bit down on it. Chewing your face morphed from confused to disgust then into surprised and finally enjoyment. "Wow... that's weird." You admitted and grabbed another slice. "Yeah boy! I uh... mean girl." Mikey laughed rubbing the back of his head.

 

 

Washing your hands in the sink you hissed at the stinging the water caused, growling at the pain you grit your teeth. "What are you doing?" A voice asked from behind. "N-nothing," you called over your shoulder. "Tsk, right. Let me see." Raph said grabbing your wrist. "What happened?" He asked looking down at the gash in your hand. "I lost my grip... usually I'm more careful but..." You answered motioning the knife in the other side of the sink. "I'll be right back," he said silently commanding you to stay put. He quickly returned shaking his head as forced your hand back under water, you winced at the disinfectant he poured onto your still bleeding hand and he scoffed, "Don't be such a baby." You mocked him by mouthing what he said when he turned to go through the med kit and sticking your tongue out at him. "I saw that," he stated as returned to your wound. "What? I didn't do anything," you feigned innocence and looked away. He smirked and began wrapping your hand. "Yeah sure. It's not too tight is it?" He asked watching you look over his handy work. You shook your head and smiled, "No, it's fine." "Good." He gave a soft smile as he went to put the med kit away. He froze when you wrapped your arms around him and nuzzled against his carapace muttering a, "Thank you Raphael." He blushed a little and shrugged trying to play it cool, "Eh don't mention it." Slowly releasing him you cleaned off the knife you were working with and returned to preparing dinner. Looking over your hand you smiled, the wrap faded until just the dirty scrapes stared back at you. With a sigh you shoved your hands under the running water and washed them gingerly. "Guys.." You muttered. Drying your hands you head into the common room, the dim silence was deafening, your brow furrowed as it finally registered that somethings had been missing. Obviously the turtles and their Sensei but... as your eyes fell onto the empty space in front of the bench in the middle of the room you titled your head in confusion. The television is gone? You glanced around, wondering if it'd been thrown or knocked over, something told you that you'd been here before and it was there even after the invasion...

 

 

Turning back to where the t.v would be you did a double take. "So Captain Ryan travels through space saving people and the such?" You asked turning to Leo who'd normally be so enveloped into his show that pretty much life away from the screen normally wouldn't matter until it was over. He just nodded still entirely shocked that you actually wanted to sit here with him and watch it. You were truly intrigued with the Leader's favorite show and finally now that you both weren't doing anything you sat beside him a little sad you missed the beginning. You felt bad for asking questions about it while it was on but he didn't seem to mind, leaning in closer to the t.v you lost yourself in the dialog being exchanged between two characters and Leo couldn't help but stare at you. Silently questioning if you were really that into it or just mocking him, he cleared his throat but you seemed to ignore him. He narrowed his eyes at you, was this because he had done something similar to you? Did you try to get his attention while he was watching his favorite show and this was your way of getting revenge and telling him? He raised an eye ridge when your hand shot out grabbing his as a character met his end on screen, his deep blue eyes widened at the sight of your small digits curling around his large green ones. He cleared his throat again and swallowed hard as his eyes traveled from you back to the screen, it really hadn't helped that a romance scene between the Captain and the wealthy daughter of the man who just died was now on. After a little while your grip tightened drawing his attention and you turned to him exclaiming with a light in your eyes, "This show is AMAZING!" He smiled and let out a soft laugh, "I know right. I'm glad to see you like it." You grinned ear to ear. Turning back to the screen you let out a yawn and stretched letting his hand go for only a few moments. Smiling you walked through the common room and stopped in front of what looked like a garage of some sort.

 

 

Your eyes traveled over the only slightly disturbed setting before you, looking over the contents you were uncertain if the mess was because of the Kraang or the owner. Striding over to the desk your eyes ran over the papers and projects cluttering the surface. Muttering caught your attention and you glanced over to find the purple clad turtle leaning over a project, blow torch in hand and tongue stuck out the side of his mouth. "Hey Donnie what are you working on?" You asked leaning over his shoulder. "Oh hey (Y/n), I'm just working on a part of the turtle mech I'm building." He answered glancing over at you then returning his chocolate gaze to his work. "Cool. So the plan is to use it against the Kraang?" You asked looking over what appeared to be a part of a leg. "That's the plan. Hey could you hand me that wrench?" He asked pointing to the stray tool leaning against a sheet of metal. "Sure." You smiled picking it up and tossing it to him. He caught in and began tightening a bolt. You couldn't help but watch, it always amazed you that he could build practically anything from what ever he found or could scrounge up. Standing behind him you watched him connect few pieces and he cringed beneath your stare. "Uh... (Y/n) c-can I help you? ... Like is there something you needed?" He asked lifting his mask and looking up at you. "Huh? Oh no. ... Am I bothering you?" You asked quirking a brow. He panicked and sputtered an explanation, "N-no! It's just you're towering over me and I thought you might have needed something. But you were just silently standing there and it was making me a little nervous..." "Donnie. Donnie. It's cool you just had to let me know. Would you work better if I left? I wouldn't want to be disruption or a nuisance." You cut him off. "Not at all. You're not a nuisance, but perhaps you could give me a bit more space?" He asked nervously. You smiled and nodding stepping back a few feet. "You know you don't have to stand. There is a chair over there that you can bring over to sit on." He said over his shoulder. "Okay. Thanks." You smiled and dragged the chair over before sitting to watch the nerd work.

 

 

You held your elbows as you trudged toward the bedrooms, your eye lids were growing heavy and you wanted some sleep. Passing the metal doors you stopped in front of one that was a little smaller than the others, slowly opening it you were greeted with the scent of jade. You let out a hum as you stepped inside the dim room, the only light that poured in was from outside, your shadow stretched across the near bare floor and your eyes traveled over the contents. A futon laid rolled out on the floor with a large white blanket and pillow atop, a small wooden chest sat beside it, as you entered your foot tapped an ornate box beside the door. Kneeling in front of it you opened the cabinet doors, your tired eyes widened as they fell upon the treasures with in, a photo of a happy couple, a plaque with a strange insignia on it, an offering dish and a holder to burn incense sat inside. Instinctively you grabbed the hidden box of matches and lit an incense cone, bowing as you said a prayer to respect those who have passed on. "I won't fail. Shredder will pay." You angry words echoed through your mind as rose back to a sitting position. "If he was my enemy... why did he keep me alive... and tell me I was his daughter? What was his angle?" You asked the memorial. No answer had come, not that you expected one. "I have to make things right. First I'll rest and then head out to find the turtles... I just hope things between us can be mended..." You muttered crawling under the covers. "L-Leo..." You whispered wrapping your arms around your pillow and hiding your face in it as you drifted off.

 

Author’s note: Alrighty guys, I have posted a journal on Deviantart to say that Requests are semi-closed. What I mean by this is I'll take them but they'll be put on a waiting list and will be posted when I can write and post them. But I want to encourage you to continue to request, I however made some guidelines so I'll leave a link here to the journal depicting the criteria. I also wanna say that it's not first come first serve, it all depends on the time it'll take for research and to write it out. Thanks guys so much for reading, requesting, your kind words and time. It really means alot to me. Much love to you all!

 

 

Link to Journal:

 

http://dark-blossom95.deviantart.com/journal/Fan-Fiction-Request-Waiting-List-521245492

 

Thanks for reading and please do leave a comment! Hope you enjoyed my reader insert and let me know what you think! ^-^


	6. Returning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for things to start coming together, memories and friends alike. Will things ever be the same for the Reader and the Turtles?

Disclaimer: I don’t own the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. 

 

Author’s Note: Spoiler Alert! If you haven’t watched Casey Jones vs the Underworld and don’t want spoilers you might wanna come back later. I’m kinda over joyed that I called with this story Shredder’s new plan though. I know I’m pushing it but let me have it, please? XD Anyway guys I have realized it’s been a long while since I have written for the other Turtles and I am SUPER sorry about that. Updates might get a little dicey since I’ve gotten pretty busy lately but I want you all to know that there is a new chapter for (Leo, Donnie and hopefully Mikey) in the works. Also I do wanna put some time to the side for watashi no yoru o atatameru since I have yet to post any of the naughty chapters, so that’s also a factor. Anyway guys hope you enjoy and thanks so much!

 

Turtles x Reader (2012)

 

 

The guys had returned to the lair, it was still trashed and not quite something they wanted to be greeted with. Their welcome home hadn't felt as they'd hoped and it was very apparent. They tried to make the best of it, the will and want to rebuild poking its way out. For there was hope... right? As they started to clean up Leo found himself standing before the small metal door and with a sigh he'd pulled it open prepared to be faced with the damage that it may have faced. His azure eyes widened in shock as the light behind him poured in bringing the condition of the room into view. It was tidy, the bed was a bit unkempt, the scent of jade still lingered in the air as if someone had burned incense recently, it was still a pretty bare room but somehow was a still frame of a friend lost in the madness, frozen in time... He took a deep breath and stepped inside. "Hamato sama..." Your voice called from behind him. Another shadow stretched across the floor and a bit up the wall. Quickly turning around his brow furrowed, the door was still wide open and no one was there. Sighing he looked down to the ornate box, he'd only been in here once or twice and curiosity of the contents within had always struck him. Kneeling in front of it he'd opened the cabinet doors and his eyes widened. Sure the photo and plaque was intriguing but... there were ashes... And they were fresh. So fresh in fact that smoke was still rising from now smoldering cone. But who? His jaw locked at the thought. "Had she been here? Oh no... What if she tells Shredder?" He asked under his breath as he closed the doors. Quickly standing and exiting the room he rushed toward the dojo, he needed to speak with Splinter. "Leo? What's wrong?" Raph asked as the eldest made a B-line through the common room. He had gone unanswered as his green stare followed his brother and leader. "Hey Raph mind giving me a hand?" Donnie called as he headed toward his lab. Raph cast one more look to where their brother had gone before striding over to help Donnie.

 

 

~ Top side ~ 

 

 

Kneeling on a rooftop your eyes watched the streets, the humans have returned it'd seem the guys were successful on defeating the Kraang, however that means the Shredder is the city's biggest threat now. He'd been expanding his empire through the lowly street gangs, only one remained to be on it's own and if you knew any better, which you did Shredder won't keep it that way for long. You held your head at the sight... April was setting up a stand with her father to provide food to the citizens. "It'd probably go alot smoother if you stopped fighting." April smiled. "Uhg... my head." You groaned. Opening your eyes you turned, something was coming... the sound was so familiar. That voice... Your stared widened as you darted for the shadows. "C-Casey?" You muttered looking over the human boy. What was he doing out here alone? You trailed behind, not letting him out of your sight but far enough to go unnoticed. He'd stopped as an alarm had gone off. "What is he doing?" You asked as he ran into the building. Watching closely as he engaged the Purple Dragons you couldn't help but smile as the rebel teen beat the punk gang currently under Shredder's control. That is until the new leader emerged... your stomach knotted as your eyes fell upon Hun, you already knew Casey didn't stand a chance, and you pulled your hood up. Standing you held your arm out to keep balance... he needed your help, he was really getting it handed to him but you were still in no condition to fight. Shaking your head you growled, "I can't take this! This is taking to long... Come on (y/n) fight!" You struggled to take a step forward but your legs were straining, breathing heavily you cursed and fell to your knees. The pain is too great, you couldn't force the tears away. "Why? Why am I so damn weak?" You demanded punching the ground. That really hadn't helped but you didn't care. The sound of sirens caught your attention and you watched as the Dragons fled the scene. "Casey." You mouthed. If he was caught he'd be in serious trouble... if you couldn't help fight then maybe you could cause a distraction. It wasn't hard to misdirect the cops, no offense but they weren't very bright, as soon as Casey was at a safe distance you let out a sigh of relief and fled.

 

 

Slinging your bag over your shoulder you trudged through the dark streets, the foot were still searching for you, from what you gathered Shredder has a personal score to settle and you couldn't help the maniacal smile taking your lips. "Hope that "eye closer" hurt you bastard." You gave a soft laugh at the memory of throwing that metsubishi in his face, the way it exploded, sand and metal shavings flying everywhere, it was so beautiful. Finally reaching your destination you stopped, kneeling before the closed metal door and picking the lock. Quietly slipping inside the now abandoned garage you pulled the door closed and headed further inside, no one would be using this place anymore now that the Kraang are gone... they may or may not return but that wasn't your main concern at the moment. Setting your bag down you let out a sigh, slumping onto the ground and resting your forehead on your bent knees. You could have waited. Now that the Kraang were gone the turtles were sure to return home. Yet you still don't feel ready to face them... you want to, you really do but how could you? Shaking your head you lean back against one of the cars, the cool metal caressing the back of your head. Opening your eyes you sighed as they fell on the reflection the shiny car opposite of you cast, you pulled out a small mirror from your bag, looking at yourself in it you ran a finger over the scars adorning your face, one stretched from your right cheek slanting down to the jaw and the another went straight down your left eye leaving a small break in your eye brow. Setting the mirror down you closed your eyes, there was a bit of self pity deep inside but you'd never show it, this was all your doing anyway... if you'd left when you had the chance... "No... No more regrets. I can make this right. ...I miss you, guys." You muttered in the dark. You'd been a little surprised at the fact that the owners of these cars hadn't locked their doors but you shrugged it off as you climbed into one, adjusting the seat so it'd go as far back as possible and you could lay down. It struck you a bit odd that it had that new car smell, though it wasn't a bad thing and it's seats were really comfortable. The question of what you'd do next will have to wait til morning as you drifted off to sleep.

 

 

~ Time skip ~ 

 

 

Wandering the streets had really given you a lot of time to think, the anger boiling in your gut had made you want to lash out at those how pass on by giving you pitiful looks, questioning if you are alright and the whispers of your condition, assuming you were like that from the invasion. If only they knew... a darker force was rising in the depths of this city. Strolling along the near empty street you let your mind wander, slightly hoping to stumble across something that'd trigger a good memory, heaven knows you could use the pick me up. Turning the corner you found yourself in the park. Strolling over to the swing set you sat down, holding the cool chains swaying a little. You'd sat in silence for a little bit and nearly jumped out of your skin when you heard someone else walking into the park. Turning your (e/c) gaze toward the entrance you felt a rock hit your gut, your throat tightened up so much you were speechless and certain you'd pass out from lack of oxygen. Standing there just as stunned as you was April O'neil. She drew her tessen though she looked more like she wanted to cry than use it, surely the guys had informed her of what had happened and you could understand their plight. Sighing you turned from her allowing your eyes to fall back to the asphalt. "I'm not looking for a fight..." You informed her. She was still tense but lowered her weapon as she replied, "Fairly odd for you to be here then." Her words stung but you nodded, "I guess... Since waking up I haven't exactly been... right." Her light blues widened as she fought the sting in her eyes and chest. She could tell what she said hurt and if you were really there to do Shredder's bidding they wouldn't have. Sighing she stepped closer, still leery as she inquired, "Then what are you doing here?" You mulled the question over for a minuet before answering, "I don't really know. I've been wandering around looking to piece the fragments of my past I've managed to collect back together." She was afraid she'd regret the question but she needed to ask, "What does the Shredder think of that?" Your eyes hardened in a cold glare, snapping your head in her direction you snarled, "To hell with that bastard." She was taken aback by your words and it was clear her head was spinning. Sighing you added, "I know he lied to me. I barely escaped his clutches... he has his clan searching for me... to settle a score." Nodding she sat on the swing beside you and asked, "So... what happened?"

 

 

About an hour had passed as you filled April in on what had transpired with the Shredder. "And that's how I escaped... He is pretty angry about me fucking up his eyes but I could careless. Since then I have been trying to remember... And figure out a way to tell the guys I know the truth now, that I am sorry for the things I have done." You finished closing your eyes. "Wow. That is quite the tale... So you had managed to find your way to the lair? Why didn't you stay and tell them?" April asked glancing over at you. You scoffed, "Do you really think they'd believe me?" She lowered her gaze and sighed, "I guess not... especially with what happened when they did with Karai." You held your head... "Karai..." You muttered. "Hey are you okay?" April asked watching you. "Y-yeah... it's just... when a memory is triggered... it just hurts..." You struggled to explain. She nodded though you weren't looking. She wasn't sure how to help and it hurt watching you struggle like this. She had a bit of doubt that you were telling the truth but if you wanted to you would have already hurt her. "Let me take you to the guys... maybe Donnie might know what to do." April suggested and you vigorously shook your head. "No. No... Gah! I'm fine.." You tried to reassure her but it was clear that you weren't. Taking a deep breath she grabbed your wrist and began dragging you along. "What're you doing? I said I'm fine." You protested but she ignored you. "Stop!" You shouted tearing your wrist from her grasp, as she turned her eyes widened, you were barely able to stand on your own and yet you were trying to convince her you were okay. "Just let me help you. Look what they've done to you, I will not stand by and do nothing again!" She shouted angrily, tears had began to form. "A-April... ah! J-just go.." You groaned turning to leave. "No! Please..." She begged and you shook your head adamant on your decision. "I can't. It hurts too much!" You confessed. "How do you think we feel? Mikey was falling apart without you! We all were! We felt... so guilty. You died... right in front of us and we were powerless to do anything... Then you come back... as our enemy. (Y/n)... please come back with me... we can settle this all out." She said between sobs. Your heart ached and you really wanted to say no... but you also wanted to say yes. You missed them and felt guilty to. With a soft sigh you held out your hand to her.

 

 

With every step you'd grown more nervous as you trekked through the sewer heading toward the lair. April squeezed your hand reassuringly. The guys were in the dojo seeming to be training, slowly you booth entered the lair. You stopped dead in your tracks at the end of the common room, refusing to go any further. April sighed and ran into the dojo. You could hear their voices and you were panicking. The urge to run was prominent but your legs felt as though they were anchored down, you couldn't move and you were frightened. The family emerged from the dojo and Mikey exclaimed, "(Y/n)!" He rushed toward and wrapped you in a tight hug. Your lip quivered as you hugged back. "I already explained what happened." April informed you as the others approached. You looked up to meet their gazes, trying to hold back the tears forming in your (e/c) eyes. 

 

 

Thanks for reading and please do leave a comment! Hope you enjoyed my reader insert and let me know what you think! ^-^


End file.
